What do I regret? This is the question I am asked the most often when people hear about my extraordinary story and I always have the same answer, regrets are a waste of time. Regret was a massive topic I covered in my self-analysis journey to becoming an independent thinker. I went over all the anger, self-critical, and disappointing regret about all the bad choices I had made. All the decisions I wished I had not made and how all my bad choices had made me so unhappy. I had to face the fact that these bad choices had ruined my life and then had to deal with beating myself up with a stick because they didn’t deliver the results I wanted.
Letting Go & Forgiving Yourself
Once I got over this part of facing my regrets, feeling the pain, and letting it all go, I recognized that in fact I didn’t regret any of it because what happened made me a much wiser, grateful, humbler person. Most people imagine that there is a right and wrong choice to be made in every life situation. If the decision made leads to the right result, they made the right decision. If it turns out it doesn’t, then they made the wrong decision, but life is not as simple as that. For every choice we make in life, we only have our experience and intentions available the moment we make it, and things can always change as we change.
There Are No ‘Bad’ Choices
I now believe all the choices we make are the right choices, whether they lead us to the outcome we desire or not. Without our mistakes and learning from our bad choices, we would never grow and become wiser people. Often, our choices are made when we are suffering or we have no choice but to make the wrong choice just to survive. It is never black and white. Often it may seem like we could have made better choices and chosen something different, but this is a false belief that creates more mental suffering. The only choice we could have made was the choice we made in the moment, had we been able to make a different choice, we would have made it.
Being Present In The Now
I have discovered that instead of focusing all my attention on the choices I should have made, I now turn all my attention to what is happening now and what is to be learned from my new experiences. If you are reading this with your own heart filled with regret, rather than beating yourself up for the choices you have made, give yourself a compassionate break for the disappointment you feel. Recognize you are not perfect and try to keep an open mind when compulsively going over your mistakes and bad choices.
Drop The Alternative Scenarios
There is only one thing I know for sure and that is whatever situation I find myself in, it will change because nothing remains the same. Learn to stop imagining what could have been ‘if only’ because ‘if only’ is never going to change what has already happened.
As much as we can help each other in times of crisis, we rarely extend the same compassion toward ourselves, and this is especially true when the crisis hits us internally. When others look at us from the outside, they can only judge us on what they see based on our actions. But from our own internal perspective, we judge ourselves based on our thoughts. We are what we think.
Overcoming Regret Is A Marathon, Not A Sprint
Always remember, you only have a small amount of energy every day, so use this energy healing session for yourself, not others, and never waste it on things that can never be brought back. You can continue to beat yourself up or you can use your precious energy on self-growth.
To me, this choice is a no-brainer. I can guarantee that one of the choices will bring you zero regret, and the other will keep you lost in the depths of despair. It is NEVER too late to experience things and learn from your past. Rather than regretting the time wasted, just put the thoughts behind you because you know, you can never go back to the time and time is precious. You can never get it back once it has gone.
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