While there’s no doubt that being a mom is a magical and life-affirming experience, it’s damn hard work. Let’s face it: if you’re managing to keep your kids alive while not going insane yourself, you’re doing a great job.
Mommy burnout isn’t a new thing; it’s existed for a long as people have been having babies. Today’s society has plenty of expectations on moms, conveniently forgetting that motherhood can look completely different than it did a century ago, with more moms juggling work and family.
Most of the social expectations placed on moms are unrealistic, contradictory, and, quite frankly, ridiculous. But they’re deeply ingrained and hard to shift, with many mothers giving themselves a hard time when their house is less than spotless or the kids aren’t as well-behaved as they’d like.
And let’s not forget mom guilt, that awful feeling when you think you’re the worst parent in the world for wanting to have a few moments to yourself. Combine this with trying to live up to lofty social expectations, and it’s no wonder that mommy burnout is so rampant.
What Exactly Is Mommy Burnout?
Let’s be clear here. Yes, mommy burnout is real. Yes, it’s normal. No, you’re not a bad mom. And no, you’re not alone. In fact, nearly half of US moms have reported feeling burned out by motherhood this year, so you’re definitely not alone. ¹
Mommy burnout goes beyond being a bit run down. It’s a chronic state characterized by feeling exhausted physically, mentally, and emotionally. It happens when your energy resources have been zapped because of ongoing stress, namely being a mom and all the challenges that come with that. ²
Mommy burnout can be categorized into four key areas:
- A constant state of exhaustion that’s disruptive and overwhelming
- Feeling guilt or shame about how you used to parent
- Feeling as though you can’t stand being a parent any longer
- Emotionally distancing from your kids and doing the bare minimum to get things done ³
What Causes Mommy Burnout
Every mother has their own circumstance and unique challenges to contend with, but put simply, mommy burnout ( or indeed any burnout) happens when you’ve got too much on your plate and no time to recuperate and take care of yourself.
It’s perfectly OK for moms to want to make sure their kids are taken care of and have the best of everything. But with a mom’s to-do list getting longer and longer, they almost always put themselves at the bottom of the list, sacrificing their own needs for those of their family. ⁴
Recognising Mommy Burnout
When you’re in the thick of taking care of your family, you may not notice that you’re struggling with mommy burnout. Some of the signs look something like this:
- Feeling overwhelmed and exhausted
- Negative thoughts
- Anxiety
- Irritability
- Escape fantasies and thoughts of running away
- Lack of patience with kids and/or family members
- Low or no empathy
- Lack of pleasure in activities once enjoyed
- Not leaving the house with kids
- Strong desire for isolation
- Lack of focus, concentration, and memory ⁵
Tackling Mommy Burnout
If you think you’re on your way to a full-blown burnout, there are a few things you can do to fight the fire and pull yourself back from the edge.
Make Your Mental Wellbeing A Priority
There’s a saying that states, ‘you can’t pour from an empty cup’. Even if it’s just a few minutes each day, take some time to look after yourself. It’s not selfish to look after your own mental happiness – if you run yourself into the ground, there’s no way you can be the mom you want to be. ⁶
Ask for and Accept Help
Some moms feel they must do it all, so asking for help can feel like a failure. It isn’t. If you need a few hours to recharge, ask a friend to watch the kids. If your own mom offers to take the kids for the afternoon, for heaven’s sake, let her! ⁷
Let Go Of Unrealistic Expectations
Remember, there’s no such thing as a perfect mom. There are as many ways to be a parent as there are moms on the planet. Try not to let society tell you how you should care for your family or yourself.
Social media has a nasty habit of making us feel unworthy and inadequate, but Instagram isn’t the real world – try not to get sucked into it and limit how much time you spend on social media in general. ⁸
Make Meaningful Connections
Motherhood can be extremely isolating and lonely. Not to sound like a broken record here, but you’re not alone. There are moms in your community who are in the same boat as you. Consider joining a local moms’ group where you can connect with people with similar interests and experiences. 9
Make Time For Holistic Solutions
Holistic practices like mindfulness give us space to focus on how we’re feeling. It’s not about clearing the mind but rather acknowledging when the mind has wandered off and gently guiding it back. Moms are the ultimate multitaskers, which can be exhausting – mindfulness reminds us to slow down and do one thing at a time, reducing anxiety and improving mental well-being. 10
Final Thoughts
Mommy burnout happens when we try to take on too much as mothers and end up depleting our online energy healing courses. Moms often feel under intense pressure to be perfect and live up to a whole range of crazy expectations, pushing us to the edge.
Rather than being selfish, self-care is vital to maintain mental well-being and happiness. Simple holistic solutions are often the best when it comes to taking care of yourself.
Parenthood is hard, and nothing can really prepare for it, so don’t be so hard on yourself. Remembering to make yourself a priority will not only empower you to be the best mum you can be, but it will also help you hang on to your mental happiness (and your sanity) while you ride the rollercoaster of motherhood. You go, momma – you’ve got this!
References:
- How to Recognize Mom Burnout
- Mom Burnout: Symptoms & How to Recover
- A Guide to Mom Burnout
- How to Recover From Mom Burnout
- Preventing Burnout for Parents
- Get Your Mom Groove Back: Pulling Yourself Out of Mom Burnout
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