Want to know a secret? Many of us feel stuck in life or unsure of our next step. It’s totally normal to question where you are going from time to time. So if you’re feeling lost or stuck right now and telling yourself: “I don’t know what to do with my life,” it doesn’t mean you’ve failed. But figuring out your life’s purpose or even the path forward can be really challenging if you’re not sure where to start.
The good news is that this “stuck” feeling is an amazing opportunity for personal growth, and there is a roadmap to navigate these uncertain waters, and help you find some clarity about where you should go next. Take comfort, many successful people found their purpose later in life, such as Vera Wang, Julia Child, and even Steve Jobs.
Let’s dive into a few approaches that can help bring you closer to a more purposeful life that aligns with your own happiness.
1. Recognize you’re not alone
First off, we’ll dismantle the myth that everyone you know has their entire life figured out. In reality, the feeling of being “stuck” is SO common. Perhaps you feel at a crossroads in life, or you’ve been jumping from job to job trying to find your purpose. According to the US Department of Labor, the average person will change careers five to seven times during their working life. And beyond career changes, less than half of Americans say they are “very satisfied” with the way things are going in their personal lives. It just goes to show you how widespread these feelings of uncertainty are.
So what’s beyond these feelings of being stuck or lost and why do they make you feel overwhelmed? The reasons will vary depending on the individual, but there’s a lot in life that makes us feel uncertain or insecure. We all encounter unexpected challenges, such as family disagreements, stressful financial situations, or even just a gnawing feeling of apathy. And amongst these frustrations, many of us find ourselves yearning for a deeper purpose and a more meaningful existence. Recognizing that it’s normal to feel this way helps you take the first step toward clarity. So don’t be afraid of these feelings. They might be trying to tell you something.
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2. Start with self-reflection
Realizing that you’re feeling stuck isn’t a nice emotion, but it is a great first step to figuring out what you really want. Now it’s time to get really introspective. Taking time to look inward can help you make more informed decisions about what to do next. But this can feel a little uncomfortable if you’re not used to self-reflection or are a bit daunted about what it might reveal. Be patient and trust in the process.
Identify patterns and themes
Look back over your life so far to find recurring themes in your career, hobbies, and relationships. Try and identify what brought you joy and when you felt the most fulfilled. This exercise can unearth important clues. Reflecting on these moments can shed light on what fuels your passion.
For instance, to take the relationships example, you might feel a sense of purpose when friends express gratitude for support and encouragement during tough times. This might tell you that you value meaningful relationships and find purpose in uplifting those around you.
Assess your current situation
Now it’s time to concern yourself with the present and ask yourself some tough questions. How satisfied are you in areas such as your career, relationships, health, and personal growth? Many life coaches recommend a tool called the “Wheel of Life” which can help you visually map out these areas and highlight where you might want to make changes.
The Wheel Of Life works well for some people because it presents a visual representation of all the areas of your life at once. So it helps you understand which of your life areas are flourishing and which ones need the most work. You can try an online Wheel Of Life assessment.
Or, you could try this journal exercise to assess your current situation:
Take 30 minutes to write freely on the following questions:
- What brings me joy? Example: “Working on creative projects like painting and collage work.”
- When do I feel most drained? Example: “Performing repetitive tasks at my job that lack creativity or a sense of progress.”
- What did I used to get excited about that I don’t do anymore? Example: “Taking art classes and experimenting with different creative mediums like ceramics or sculpture. Or going to exhibitions, meeting creatives, and getting inspired.”
- What goals did I used to have that I’ve neglected? Example: “Launching a side business focused on my artwork.”
Identify your values and principles
Feeling stuck suggests that you might not be spending enough time on activities that really matter to you. But clarifying your key values can be tricky. Exercises like value mapping can help you pinpoint what matters most to you. There are online “values assessment” quizzes you can take. But it’s also worth working with a coach to determine the things that are most important to you.
As a starting point, list your top five values and see what comes up. For example, creativity, stability, freedom, connection, and intellectual stimulation. Once you’ve got your five, rate how your current life path aligns with these.
Seek feedback from others
You don’t have to build your best life alone. Assessing our own strengths and blind spots isn’t always easy, so consider reaching out to someone you trust (and who knows you well) for feedback. Family, friends, or mentors can shine a light on your positive attributes and potential paths you might not have considered.
Who to ask and how: Approach people who know you well, but that you know can offer constructive, honest feedback and won’t just tell you what you want to hear. Asking them to answer a few simple questions can be really fruitful. Try asking: “What do you think I’m really good at?” or “What kind of environment do you think I’d really thrive in.” Such questions can open up new perspectives.
Conduct a Personal SWOT Analysis
Don’t worry if you haven’t heard of a SWOT analysis before. It’s a really simple way of identifying your key strengths and challenges. SWOT stands for Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats.
Here’s how to do it:
- Strengths: What are you naturally good at?
- Weaknesses: What could you improve?
- Opportunities: What trends or gaps could you take advantage of?
- Threats: What obstacles do you face?
Here’s an example:
- Strengths: Excellent writing and communication, problem-solving abilities, leadership experience
- Weaknesses: Worrying too much or perfectionism tendencies.
- Opportunities: The chance to start a blog, podcast, or volunteer project that could align with a passion or career path.
- Threats: Fear of failure or giving up a financially secure position.
You can then use SWOT to determine your next steps, such as:
- Leverage strengths: Begin a personal blog to showcase communication skills.
- Address weaknesses: Set yourself a challenge to spend only a certain amount of time on your personal project. Don’t overpolish it. And remember that it doesn’t have to be perfect.
- Pursue opportunities: Attend industry events and meet like-minded people relevant to your project and areas of interest. Tell them about your project.
- Mitigate threats: Start setting aside money for a potential career shift.
Journal regularly
We’re big fans of journaling at Plentiful. Taking the time to put pen to paper can reveal a lot about your desires, fears, and motivations. Some people find it helpful to journal every day, but it’s all about what works for you. Try journaling first thing in the morning or before you go to bed. You could write in a stream of consciousness and see what comes up. Or you could try the following prompts:
- What would I do if I wasn’t afraid of failing?
- What childhood dreams did I leave behind?
- What three things am I grateful for today?
3. Gain clarity
The world can be overwhelming and confusing sometimes. It can be hard to find yourself in all of the noise. Gaining clarity won’t happen overnight, it’s a process that requires patience and practice. But once you make time for it, you might find life feels a little less muddled. It’s all about zooming out and considering the bigger picture.
Who and what inspires you the most?
Consider your role models. It could be a public figure or someone you know from your life. Understanding the attributes that you’re drawn to or admire can guide you toward your path. And knowing that many successful individuals face their own challenges or moments of doubt before finding their way can be a huge comfort.
Read interviews, autobiographies, or TED talks by the figures who inspire you. Write down the principles they followed to get to their success. Then reflect on how these lessons might be woven into your life.
For instance, Oprah Winfrey’s journey from humble beginnings to becoming one of the most influential women in the world can offer valuable lessons for anyone seeking more meaning in their life. She embraced authenticity, turned challenges into strengths, and committed to lifelong learning. By reflecting on how your toughest moments have shaped you, you might be able to use those insights to build resilience and gratitude.
Use IKIGAI to uncover your career path
The age-old Japanese concept of IKIGAI (pronounced “ee-kee-guy”) is all about finding balance in your life. It means finding the sweet spot between what you love, what you’re good at, what the world needs, and what you can get paid for. The idea is that there’s greater potential for happiness when you’re fully aligned with your purpose.
You can create a Venn diagram on paper, or use an online IKIGAI tool, to explore:
- Your passions
- Your skills
- What the world needs
- Income opportunities
Reflecting on each of these elements and exploring where they overlap can help you assess potential career paths or new life goals that align with your diagram.
Set SMART goals
Maybe you’ve had to create SMART goals for appraisals at work and found the concept a little corporate. But it doesn’t have to be! You can use this approach to help you find your purpose and transform your ideas into concrete, achievable steps. This method can really help with the feelings of overwhelm that often accompany the desire to make changes in life.
SMART means:
Specific: Define exactly what you want to achieve
Measurable: Make sure you can track your progress.
Achievable: Set realistic expectations.
Relevant: Align your goals with your values.
Time-bound: Create a timeline for each goal.
Here’s an example if you’re someone who feels stuck in their career and is craving a change but doesn’t know where to start:
- Objective: Gain clarity on potential career paths.
- Specific: Explore three potential career paths (e.g., nonprofit work, digital marketing, or event planning) by researching the roles, required skills, and talking to professionals in these fields.
- Measurable: Schedule and conduct interviews with at least three people next month to make an informed list of the pros and cons of each career.
- Achievable: Dedicate one hour each day to research and reach out to professionals in your field of interest.
- Relevant: This goal aligns with the desire to find a career path that matches interests and values, creating a clearer sense of purpose.
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4. Take action and experiment
Self-reflection is crucial, but once you’ve gained some insights, it’s time to put an action plan in place, try new things, and engage your curiosity.
Lean into your curiosity
Following what piques your interest can lead to unexpected discoveries. It’s time to try new things without putting pressure on yourself to be good at them right away. Experiment with taking that class you always wanted to, or reading about topics that fascinate you.
Volunteer for a cause you’re passionate about
Volunteering is a great way of testing the waters in a new field without the pressure of a permanent commitment. It can help you make new connections and could make you feel more fulfilled. Research has found that volunteering is associated with greater life satisfaction and self-esteem. So if you’ve got a few hours a week to spare, volunteer in a field that you’re interested in and see how it feels. You never know what might come out of it.
Websites like VolunteerMatch can connect you with roles that align with your skills and interests.
5. Overcome fear and self-doubt
So much of what holds us back comes down to our fears. Although fear and self-doubt are powerful inhibitors, be curious about them. They’re part of the process when you embark on a change. And once you acknowledge them, there are ways to move past them and take a more courageous path.
The following exercises for overcoming fear might help:
- Name your fear: Be really honest with yourself. Write down what scares you (example: “I’m afraid of failing in a new career”).
- Define what “failing” looks like (e.g., not meeting job expectations, struggling to learn new skills, or facing financial instability).
- Identify the worst-case scenario: What’s the worst that can happen? (example: “I haven’t excelled in my new job. I’m going to get fired. And will need to find a new role.”
- Brainstorm solutions for the worst-case scenario: (example: “I could update my resume with new experiences gained, use my professional network to look for other opportunities, seek temporary work, or upskill through free online courses.)
Recognizing that there is a plan for the worst-case outcome reduces its power and reminds you that failure isn’t the end, it’s a step toward growth.
How to develop resilience
You’re already likely more resilient than you think. Rather than fearing failure, think about what you can learn from it. Try to practice self-acceptance and reframe setbacks as learning experiences.
For instance: You interviewed for a new job you were excited about, but the interview didn’t go as well as you hoped. You didn’t get selected. You might automatically think: “I failed. I’m not good enough, and I’ll never succeed in changing careers.” You might feel frustrated and full of self-doubt.
But you could reframe the experience in a more positive way. For instance: “I went through the job application and interview process, which gave me valuable insight into how I present myself and what employers are looking for.” You could highlight what went well: “I got shortlisted for the position, which means I’m on the right track and have potential.”
You could go even further: “I didn’t get my dream job this time, but this experience taught me valuable lessons about my strengths and where I can grow. I’m now better prepared for future opportunities.
Reframing your setback helps you see it as part of your personal growth. You can shift your focus from feeling defeated to knowing that you’re building resilience and preparing your future self for success.
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6. Seek guidance and support from others
Figuring out what’s next for you doesn’t have to be a journey you embark on by yourself. Sometimes we need to lean on others to help us find clarity.
Find a mentor
Mentors can be useful at all stages of life. You’re never too senior for a mentor. They can offer wisdom, support, and inspiration. So don’t be afraid to seek out people you admire and ask them for a meeting. The worst thing they can do is say no. So really there’s nothing to lose. Networking events and industry groups can be great places to start.
Speak to friends and family
Your friends and family might not necessarily have all the answers. But it’s worth talking to people you trust about how you’re feeling. You might find that opening up to loved ones helps you feel less overwhelmed and stuck, because they can offer encouragement and empathy. Perhaps they have their own stories about how they overcame the feeling of “I don’t know what to do with my life.”
Consider professional help
If feeling stuck or purposeless is really getting you down, it might be time to connect with a professional. Coaches or counselors can help you work through the barriers that friends and mentors might not be equipped to handle. They have the expertise to help you make real change. And coaches can help keep you accountable as you embark on your journey of transformation. Check out Plentiful practitioners like Hossam Abostate, Hanna Carroll, and Coaching With Cassie.
7. Regularly check in with yourself
Life can feel so busy sometimes, especially if you have myriad work and family commitments. It can be hard to find time for yourself. But it’s crucial that you’re regularly checking in with yourself once you’ve completed some of the exercises recommended in this article. It’s so easy to lose momentum. But change isn’t going to happen overnight. Recognize that becoming unstuck is going to take some time and consistent practice. So set weekly or monthly check-ins to review your progress and reassess your direction.
Journalling is such a good practice to get into. Carving out half an hour for a weekly journal entry can help you document your reflections, wins, and challenges and keep you on the right path.
What next?
Figuring out what to do with your life is an ongoing process. But you’ve taken the first step toward change just by acknowledging that niggling feeling of dissatisfaction and a desire for more meaning and fulfillment in your life.
There’s no need to try all the exercises we’ve suggested at once. Be gentle and curious and see what resonates with you. And know that it’s better to take steps that feel manageable, rather than trying to rush the process. Trust that you’re capable of navigating the waters of change, even if it feels a little scary at first. And don’t be afraid to call in a professional coach to keep you on track.
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Frequently asked questions
How long does it typically take to figure out what to do with your life?
Figuring out what to do with your life can be a lifelong process as you’re changing and developing all the time and your interests and what feels meaningful to you can shift throughout your life. So there’s no fixed timeline for change. The key is to stay engaged with the journey and be curious and open to new possibilities. Try to trust yourself and not pile on the pressure to have it all figured out straight away. This all-or-nothing thinking can lead to you feeling overwhelmed.
Is it too late to change careers in my 30s, 40s or even 50s?
No, it’s not too late to change careers! Plenty of people change jobs in their 50s (and even their 60s). And it’s not uncommon for people to change careers multiple times over the course of their working lives. Embrace the journey and view change as an opportunity for personal growth.
How can I balance pursuing my passion with financial stability?
Balancing passion with financial stability can be challenging, but it’s not impossible. And it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. It might not look like a full-time job. You could try by dedicating a portion of your time to your passion and building up gradually to determine whether you can make a sustainable income out of it at some point. Over time, you might end up with a full-time career that encompasses your passion and keeps you financially afloat. Or, you might find that combining a well-paid job and your passion on a part-time basis gives you the right balance.
What if I have multiple interests and can’t choose just one path?
If you can’t choose just one path, know that it’s a strength to be curious. Humans are multi-faceted and it’s great to have multiple interests. You don’t have to narrow yourself to just one field. But it’s worth asking what excites you the most right now. This can help you prioritize what feels most meaningful to you. But remember, you don’t have to do the same thing forever. Try something new and see if it fits. If it doesn’t, move on to something else that gets you equally fired up.
How do I know if I’m making the right decision about my life’s direction?
It’s easy to get trapped in a cycle of self-doubt and worrying that you’re making the “wrong” decisions. But you don’t always have to get it right. Even choices and opportunities that turn out to be a bit of a bust can be powerful experiences for personal growth. Try to say no to this constant pressure to do everything right, because it’s just not realistic and that fear can hold you back. Trust your instincts, gather feedback, and give yourself permission to pivot if things don’t work out.
What if my family or friends don’t support my chosen path?
Sometimes people close to you can react negatively if they see you making a big change. But it might be more about them than you. Perhaps they feel stuck too but don’t have the courage to try a new path. Try not to be discouraged or influenced by their negativity. And remember that support can come from unexpected places. Stay true to your values and seek out mentors and new contacts, such as online communities or networking events.
How can I stay motivated when trying to figure out my life’s direction?
Staying motivated is crucial when trying to figure out a new direction, but that doesn’t mean it’s always easy. Life can get in the way sometimes. So it’s important that you’re sticking to manageable, actionable goals, rather than trying to achieve everything all at once. Break your goals into small steps and remember to celebrate every win, no matter how small.
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