Being a new mom is hard. The demands of motherhood, especially for first-time mothers, can be overwhelming. During the postpartum period, you’re navigating a series of physical, emotional, and spiritual changes day by day and even hour by hour. You may struggle with conflicting feelings that you don’t know how to reconcile. On one hand, you might feel a sense of great joy upon meeting your newborn, but on the other, that happiness can be compounded with confusion and even a lost sense of identity. Who are you now that you’re a mother?
Giving birth to a child is a time-limited process. The concept of matrescence, or the process of becoming a mom, is a journey that takes much longer and has no true endpoint. Learn how matrescence coaching can help you put the pieces of your new life together in a way that makes you feel like you again.
What Is Matrescence Coaching All About?
New mothers are often encouraged to read and learn all they can about the physical changes that accompany the postpartum period. However, you may feel unprepared for the emotional and spiritual shifts that mark this time of life. Matrescence coaching is a specialized type of individualized, supportive coaching that assists you as a new mother in navigating this period, connecting with your baby, and developing a strong sense of self.
Navigate the Complexities of the Motherhood Journey
One study shows that the gray matter in a new mother’s brain shrinks after her baby’s birth and stays that way for about two years. This restructuring, scientists assume, is to help you respond more effectively to your baby.
The rest of your life may similarly feel like it needs to be dismantled and put together differently to accommodate your new baby. If you haven’t yet given birth, you may feel anxious as you step into a new role. On the other hand, if you’re struggling through the myriad physical postpartum changes and sleepless nights that feel like an eternity, you might feel shame when an older relative tells you to embrace these days or that the years go by so quickly.
Motherhood is both beautiful and difficult, and it often changes you in ways you don’t understand. Allowing space for these complex feelings — and recognizing that both the joyful and difficult moments exist on your journey of motherhood — is crucial to your matrescence.
Build a Strong Connection With Your Child’s Spirit
You may feel that you already know your unborn baby. Or, you may struggle with the idea that in a few short months or days, you’re going to be meeting a person who depends on you for survival. The emotional and spiritual weight of this fact can trigger a host of internal responses in soon-to-be mothers.
Your relationship with your child is the foundation of your motherhood. Matrescence coaching can help you build a strong connection with your unborn baby so that you feel more prepared to welcome them into the world.
Empower Yourself To Break Free From Conventions
Though matrescence coaching is virtual relationship therapy, the professional you work with aims to empower you and help you call the role of motherhood your own. Part of this coaching involves breaking old ways of thinking that no longer serve you.
Conventional thinking may arrive in the form of cultural expectations; comments from friends, neighbors, and even strangers; and memories of your own childhood. Many people say the following statements to modern mothers without a thought. Consider how they make you feel:
- Everyone feels tired after they have a baby. You’ll be fine.
- I never felt burnt out when I had kids.
- When I had a baby, I wanted to stay home. New moms shouldn’t work.
- What do you mean you’re not going back to work?
- Don’t worry, you’ll lose the weight once you start chasing around a toddler!
- When are you having another baby?
Many comments and societal or cultural expectations — whether they’re spoken aloud or not — can make you feel unsure and inadequate, as though you’re going to make the wrong choice at every turn. Matrescence coaching helps you process your emotions, as well as the cultural and social expectations you’ve encountered, to help you as your identity shifts into a motherhood that you can call your own.
Why Is This Type of Coaching Highly Tailored to Each Woman?
Matrescence coaching is based on the idea that becoming a mother is an individual journey rather than a phase to be pathologized. Every woman has her own background, her pre-motherhood identity, and her set of personal experiences and expectations that follow her into motherhood.
This type of coaching is the opposite of a one-size-fits-all solution: It has to be individualized to each woman beginning her matrescence journey, or it will not be helpful.
What Techniques Does a Matrescence Coach Use?
Because matrescence coaching is highly individualized, you will work with a coach in a way that is most helpful to you and your life. You can expect conversation, understanding, and practical solutions. It’s possible to book one session for one-time or simpler issues, or you may schedule a series to untangle a larger problem or obstacle that you’re struggling with. Your coach may employ the following techniques for personal growth:
- Mindfulness and exploring the mind-body connection
- Exploring your reproductive identity and what “happy motherhood” means to you
- Somatic approaches
- Addressing cultural, societal, and familial pressures in motherhood and life
- Discussing things new moms need such as self-care strategies
Your matrescence coach can be there for you as you decide on last-minute issues before you give birth, such as whether to become a stay-at-home parent or go back to work. A coach can also assist you in navigating specific stages with your little ones or processing lingering emotions from a difficult birthing experience. Matrescence coaching’s greatest benefit is that it can meet you wherever you are on your journey.
Master This Major Life Transition To Become a Mindful Parent
Your hopes and dreams — and your sense of self — matter more than ever now that you are a parent. The experience of matrescence is a normal, expected part of the stages of motherhood. If you’re feeling stuck, unsure, or burnt out in modern motherhood, browse Plentiful for experienced and compassionate matrescence coaching to help you navigate the ups and downs of this profound transformation from woman to mother.
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